A Time for Rest

Ecclesiastes 3:1  

There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens...

     Two years ago, Brad and I added to our family through adoption. One of our little girls has RAD (Reactive Attachment Disorder). Everything is a struggle and if it's not, she'll make it one. Life is hard. Very hard!  She is a master manipulator, sabotager of daily events, and ruiner of relationships. There are many days, dare I say most, that I wake up not wanting to get out of bed for the struggle that I know the day will bring is just too much.

  

    This has not only affected me, but also our other children. She wreaks havoc on our home. Her hatred and immorality is rubbing off on others and instead of her becoming more like us, we are becoming more like her! 

     At this point in life, anytime ANY child says something to me, I automatically click into investigative mode. What is this child's motive behind this? Does this child want something from me? Are they doing that to get out of work? This is a TERRIBLE reaction to have. My mind automatically jumps to assume the worst because that's what I see in my own adopted child! I am no longer seeing the good in people, but am beginning to assume the worst. Recently I found myself doing this with, by far, the sweetest, most innocent child in our local homeschool co-op. What kind of monstrous heart has overtaken me?!  This is when something inside of me snapped and I realized that something had to change.

A Time For Rest...

     We just got back from our first real vacation. It was a time for rest and a time to grow closer as a family. The prayers of the saints were upon us as they knew with an RAD child, the week could quickly turn into a nightmare. While we definitely had our moments, overall, it went really well. We went horseback riding, to Pump-it-Up, had a couples massage, did mini manis and pedis with the girls while the boys went to a glassblowing exhibit, spent time with family, and did lots of hiking and creek walking. We also listened to the first two audiobooks of Chuck Black's Wars of the Realm series. I highly recommend them. I came back with a new resolve to not let the darkness overtake me, but to declare that I am a child of the Most High God and I will be the light that shines even brighter than the darkness. That this is ultimately a spiritual battle, and who better to have on my side than Elohim himself. I can and will persevere. With that in mind, we have decided on several different ways to declare a time for rest in order to continue to fight and prepare for a battle bigger than ourselves.

     I have NEVER sent any of my children to school, either public or private. That will soon be changing. We need a break, not just me, but all of us in my home. Ultimately my RAD child's need is salvation, hence why we decided to send her to a Christian, private school rather than public starting the first week of November.  We made this decision so we can have a time for rest. A time to draw closer to God, to bask in His presence, to present ourselves to Him as pure and blameless. A time to get our hearts in order and in line with His direction.  A time to heal in order to help others with their much needed healings.

     Brad and I already go to breakfast once a week as a way to regroup and build a much needed strong relationship.  There is no room for discord or weakness in a marriage when raising a child with RAD. We must have a strong front and be an unbreakable team. This time together that one morning, is for us, a time for rest in order to attack the rest of the day/week together.

     I also, have NEVER, planned a regular time to relax and wind down just for ME. Mind you, I am not of the ME first mentality, but I am beginning to recognize the need to put my own oxygen mask on before trying to help others. Brad recently reminded me of a fellow foster mom who is also a massage therapist. So, I am going to plan to get a massage once a month or so.  I believe this will be a great way for me to have a time for rest. We will plan these for weeks when there is no co-op and Brad will be home.  This may sound silly, but just being able to get out of the house without panicking about what she might do while I'm gone is a huge burden lifter. The massage is the icing on the cake.

     I am going to continue with my morning devotions. These have been very hard and almost impossible at times to accomplish. My plan is to get my RAD child out the door and then go straight to my time with God, my time of real rest. Even with all the other children potentially running around, this will be easy to complete in comparison to the struggle we have each morning, afternoon, and evening with our most difficult child.  I have done a pretty good job most recently staying committed to this even if I start in the morning and don't finish until bed time. I NEED God so much that this is something that CANNOT be ignored. 

Well, these are some ways we are going to take a step back and just REST.  For those of you who just stumbled upon this and also have a RAD child, what are your RESTFUL moments?  What do you do to recoup and continue in this battle to which you have been called?